Emotion - Energy in Motion

About one year ago, I did not know how to know what I was feeling. If I would try to think of what I was feeling, I literally just felt numb. Nothing. I had zero words to describe how I was feeling and I didn't even know how someone could just know that. It truly felt foreign to me. There would be times when I would be saying that “I hate how this feels” and someone might throw out a suggestion, and I would be like “Oh, Yes! That's what this feeling is”, but I really was unable to pull the words up myself. This still happens to me, but much less frequently. Today, I have learned to be less judgmental with myself and more curious about why I feel certain things, vs judging myself and telling myself I shouldn't feel this way.

This was done through various forms of practice. Practice in therapy, using emotion charts, reading books and using an app. The book Untangling Emotions by Alasdair Groves and Winston Smith has been a great tool for me, as well as the app "How We Feel".

What is helpful for me while reading a book that I really think I need, is to take notes through out reading.

From the book Untangling Emotions, they asked the following questions at the beginning of the book:

"How do you feel about how you feel?"

"Why are we feeling what we feel?"

"Do we give enough time between tasks to ever recognize how we are feeling?"

The authors report that research has found that Christians are more disturbed by their emotions compared to non-Christians. They may see "negative" emotions as a sign of spiritual failure. Perhaps they see these "negative" emotions as needing to be squashed rather than explored and something to be curious of. I think that thinking in extremes when it comes to emotions, or really anything, can be harmful. This book encourages that emotions help us grow in maturity and low and our goal should be to engage with our emotions rather than being ruled by or free from them.

During the first part of the book, it is discussed that sometimes it is good to feel bad, and, on the flip side, sometimes it is bad to feel good. When something bad or sad happens in life, the appropriate response is to feel sad, angry, or hurt in response to that. And that is a good thing. There are many examples of God and Jesus being angry or sad during times in the bible, and being able to express these emotions at appropriate times is a way that we were made in Gods image.

The book states that the basic reason we need negative/unpleasant emotions is because we live in a fallen world and God made us to respond to things as they actually are. What if we saw someone hurting and felt nothing? What if something tragic happened and no one did anything? All of our emotions give us a chance to share Gods heart, purpose, and perspective and be his friends.

My own personal reflections (04.01.2023)

1. "Have you ever thought of your "bad" feelings as having a good purpose? How does this idea strike you?

I don't think I used to think bad feelings had a good purpose - I grew up thinking that feeling sad or mad were bad things and things that needed to be avoided. I think I always used to want those feelings to go away - I never saw a point to them. I think now I see value in them, grieving helps you to grow and move on. You can't just ignore those feelings and hope that you will be okay because someday it will catch up to you . I do feel more okay with each emotion using the app has helped. I think the idea of negative emotions having a good purpose is a great way to think about them. This helps me want to explore them and not be so rejecting of them.

2. "What are the most uncomfortable emotions for you to feel? Why do you think that is?"

My most uncomfortable feelings to feel would probably be playful, optimistic, vulnerable, lost, isolated, exhausted, tense, anxious, or overwhelmed.

Maybe I am more uncomfortable with the extremes. I guess I try to stay more in the middle - why?