Filling My Life

Before being single, I could write a list of a few things that I did to fill my time. That list including: work, cleaning, cooking, spending occasional time with family and friends. I really didn't know what I liked to do and if I had any free time, I felt like I was unsure how to spend it.

Right now, I could easily write down several hobbies that I love doing and the list seems to keep growing. What do I like to do or what do I enjoy doing? Reading, paddle boarding, swimming, barre classes, being with friends, breweries, calligraphy, bible studies, rollerblading, stand up shows, Motorcycle riding, crafts, and I'm open to learning and trying new things as well!

The reason I "lost" (Or maybe gave up) my hobbies when I was in a relationship was because of me. Period. I choose to give up what I enjoyed doing and stopped making time for what I liked because that's what I thought was best. I now know that, for me, that is not what is best. If being in a relationship means losing myself, then no thanks. I don't want my life to only be as big as the one person I love the most. What if that one person leaves or dies? Then what do I do? Well, that happened to me, and I felt that I had lost my whole world because that person was no longer in my life. I didn't know myself, I didn't know what I liked to do, and when I looked up after giving all my time and energy to one person, I didn't have much left. And I never want that to happen to me again.

I know that in life there are different seasons. Some times life will be full of friends and last minute plans because there are few responsibilities on my plate, or maybe some day I will have children and I will only care about being home with them, maybe there will be seasons where I work more than I should, but each season is different, and each season is just that, A SEASON. Life will change and will keep changing no matter what.

No matter the season I will enter into in the next few years, I want to keep my life full of things that I enjoy doing and I want to keep being surrounded by people who cheer me on and add to my life rather than taking from it. I would like to think that this doesn't come from a place of selfishness - but it comes from a place or protecting my life from hardships and hurts. I don't want to put all my eggs in one basket, but instead I want to have a balance

Being newly single, at first, I read a lot. I read so many books and basically just immersed myself in trying to hold myself together. After I felt more steady on my own feet, I thought, what am I going to do with my time? So, one day while talking to a friend about another friend paddle boarding, and I though to myself, why can't I buy one of those? Then about 10 minutes later, one had been purchased off amazon. I used that board, and still do, all the time. I love being on the water. I love swimming. It was a great hobby to pick up for me. Since then I have found so many other things that I enjoy and I include those in my life on a daily basis.

Finding new hobbies is also a great way to make friends and build community with those who enjoy doing similar things.

What do you do or used to do that brings you joy? What comes to mind? I had to give myself permission to put effort into doing things that I enjoyed. Among all the chaos of the summer, after my husband left but before our divorce was final, I found that even adding one hobby to my life was a game changer. I found so much peace being on the lakes, I found community with others doing this hobby, and it was something that I enjoyed and could add to my life, even when I felt so much of what I was looking forward to had been lost.

Since this time, I have added so many more things that bring joy into my life. I feel that I have created a life full of joy by what I do with my time and who I spend time with, which just makes life better! Life is far from being perfect, but that doesn't mean that joy can't be found in the little day to day tasks and activities.

One thing I have heard in the past is that when we change, our whole world can (and will) change, vs if we change our world, but we stay the same, nothing will really change. For me, I have changed my perspective, I have changed who I spend time with, and I have changed what I do with my time. My whole life and world has changed just by changing my own outlook and perspective, even though I have not changed locations. I feel that I know who I am more, I like who I am, and I fill my time doing things I enjoy or spending time with those who bring joy to my life, which sometimes is the best thing when needing a fresh start or perspective change.